ARAG Offers Tips for Understanding and Diffusing Domestic Violence

DES MOINES, Iowa, Sept. 12, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- Unfortunately, there are times while supporting someone through a split that your loved one may be faced with potentially aggressive situations.  Nancy Schornack, a licensed mental health counselor and contributor to Support in a Split.com provides a general understanding of the pattern of domestic violence and how to recognize and diffuse a potentially dangerous situation. 

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The Post Separation Power and Control Wheel (www.theduluthmodel.org) is a helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of behavior used by one to establish and maintain control over the partner during and after separation. 

As the support person in a split, it is important to understand that violence rarely happens out of a vacuum, but instead usually erupts from an accumulation of the behaviors listed on the wheel.  If you feel your loved one could be at risk for violence, review this wheel together to better understand the red flags in the relationship and how you may be proactive in diffusing aggression. 

If you believe your friend/family member is a risk of domestic abuse from the former spouse, here are some guidelines to follow:

Find a safe and confidential place to talk, and honestly express your concern for her safety.  Explain specifically what it is that you see (using the power and control wheel can be helpful) that warrants your concern. 

Help your friend create and rehearse a safety plan.  Discuss a code word or action that she can use to signal you if she is in danger and needs help.  Help your friend download a safety app on her phone, such as Circle of 6, that alerts contact numbers of danger.  Encourage her to have a place to go, plus documents, spare keys, an overnight bag and money stored safely so she can access them quickly in an emergency. 

Encourage your friend to develop a comprehensive support system and connect him/her with domestic violence resources, crisis lines, counselors, safe houses, etc. in your area.  Provide him/her with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.

Encourage your friend to utilize safety precautions like changing her phone number, routines, routes to work, or businesses she frequents.  Your loved one may also want to install a security system, and alert neighbors, school authorities, and police officers of the concern.

Being familiar with the power and control wheel, and discussing and rehearsing these guidelines can help you be prepared to stay calm and resourceful in assisting your loved one with aggressive situations that may arise. 

Read the full story: http://www.supportinasplit.com/staying-safe-tips-understanding-diffusing-domestic-violence/

About Support in a Split
When a friend or family member is going through a divorce, most people find it tough to know what to say or how to help. Support in a Split targets the extended support groups of people going through divorce and offers practical ways for them to help during a difficult time. With insight from attorneys, divorce counselors and divorce survivors, blog topics range from exercise, dating and updating legal documents. Support in a Split is sponsored by ARAG^®, a global provider of legal solutions.

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