Asks Singles "What's Your Number?" and Offers Tips for Answering the Tricky Question: How Many People Have You Slept With?

Sep 27, 2011, 09:32 ET from Lavalife

TORONTO, Sept. 27, 2011 /PRNewswire/ -- In the upcoming movie, "What's Your Number?" Ally, played by Anna Faris, is told by a group of girlfriends that women who have had more than 20 sexual partners will not find a husband. The movie begs the question, "What is an acceptable number of partners?" or in this case "How many men is too many?"


In an attempt to separate fact from fiction,, the leader in online dating and relationships, polled singles to find out if the age-old double standard between men and women still exists. The results revealed that an overwhelming 79% of single men and 94% of single women agree there is still a gender bias of "stud" versus "tramp."

However, when asked if they were comfortable dating someone who has had more sexual partners than themselves, 7% of men and 77% of women answered "yes."

"It is interesting how both men and women feel the gender bias does exist, yet they are not intimidated when it comes to dating someone with more sexual experience," notes Kim Hughes, Singles and Dating Expert for  "The number itself doesn't matter; it's the way you feel about it, and what it means to you."

For daters - especially women who have entered into double, even triple digits - there is still the fear of the gender bias and answering the "number" question can be tricky.  

"Although it is possible that a high number of sexual partners could be off-putting to a potential mate, the past does not need to dictate the future," continues Hughes. "Regardless of the number, there are ways to address your sexual past."

Tips for Addressing the Question: What's Your Number?

  1. You can always be honest. Whether it is 4 or 47, you can lay it out on the table. That is, if you and your partner have been dating long enough for this to be an appropriate question. You never know how you will be perceived, but do take into account your date's reaction. If he is either appalled or way too excited by your number, then perhaps he is not the right fit for you.
  2. Address the question without actually revealing your number. In truth, the number is not important and it is really nobody else's business. Redirect the question to a more worthwhile discussion: "If you are asking whether I like sex, then the answer is yes." "If you are asking if I am selective and safe, then the answer is yes." You get the idea...
  3. If you really want to find "The One," change your strategy. Although sex sometimes leads to love, it doesn't always. The best option is to join an online dating site like Whatever your dating criteria – finding dates that share your language, faith, ethnic background, social habits, even astrological sign – lets you filter your search to find exactly who you are looking for.
  4. Still worried that you will be judged by the double standard?  Women: don't answer until you hear his response, then divide by 2 and subtract 4. Men: worried that your number isn't high enough to impress her (if so, you are being foolish, women like men who are selective) then add 7. Not yet in the double digits? Add a zero.
  5. Sometimes no answer – accompanied by a shy, come-hither grin – is the best answer of all.

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SOURCE Lavalife