ATLANTIC CITY, N.J., Jan. 11, 2011 /PRNewswire/ -- As Valentine's Day approaches, thoughts turn to love. This is true of most people -- but not all.
"There are people in the world who don't care about love," says Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com. "They don't even know what love is. But they do care about power, control and sex."
These people, Andersen says, are called sociopaths. Most people think a sociopath is a deranged serial killer, but this isn't true. "Sociopaths know exactly what they are doing, and most of them never kill anyone," she says. "But they are social predators who exploit just about everyone they meet. They have no heart, no conscience and no remorse."
Andersen learned about sociopaths the hard way -- by marrying one. Her husband took $250,000 from her, cheated with at least six women during a two-year marriage, had a child with one of them, and 10 days after Andersen left him, married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy.
Andersen has a new book about her experience, called, "Love Fraud - How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan," which was named a "Reviewer's Choice" by the Midwest Book Review. And, she launched Lovefraud.com to teach people how to recognize and recover from sociopaths.
Based on her experience, and the experiences of thousands of readers, Andersen compiled the following list of warning signs that a romantic interest may, in fact, be a sociopath.
- Charisma and charm. They're smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
- Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
- Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
- Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
- Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
- Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they'd make out better telling the truth.
- Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
- Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you're their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
- Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
- Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For information, visit:
Love Fraud - The Book: