5 ways to navigate youth loneliness on Valentine's Day, according to Youth Villages

MEMPHIS, Tenn., Feb. 12, 2025 /PRNewswire/ -- For many people, Valentine's Day has expanded its significance to include the celebration of friendship, helping those without romantic relationships feel included and loved. But, particularly for children and teens without strong friendships or a romantic relationship, the holiday can feel especially isolating.

As youth sit in their loneliness and ruminate on negative self-talk, it increases the chance they will struggle with anxiety, depression and self-harm.

Youth Villages Director of In-Home Services Jennifer Cougill Harris, M.Ed., has five pieces of advice for parents to support their children and help them reframe the holiday in a more positive light.

     1.   Create a strong sense of love at home

One of the most impactful things you can do is make sure your child feels truly loved at home. This doesn't have to be expensive or material. Write them a simple handwritten note listing what you love about them and let them pick their favorite meal for breakfast or dinner. If they aren't included in social celebrations, it won't feel as defining to them as a person if they feel valued by their family.

     2.   Encourage proactive participation

In elementary school, Valentine's Day often includes class-wide card exchanges, ensuring that every child receives something. As children grow older, these activities become more selective, leaving some kids feeling left out. Remind your children they don't have to just let life happen to them. Ask if there is anyone they'd like to show love and help them make it happen, be it through taking them to buy a small gift, writing a note of appreciation or letting them host their friends and take over the kitchen. This can help shift the focus from what they receive to what they give.

     3.   Teach healthy coping strategies

Valentine's Day can sometimes highlight friendships that aren't as close as a child thought, or feelings that aren't returned in the way they had hoped, especially if they make an effort and experience rejection. If your child feels sad or lonely, validate their emotions and provide healthy outlets for expression—whether through writing, listening to music, playing sports, or finding a healthy way to release those negative feelings like physical activity, art or music. There's also nothing wrong with distraction – take them to their favorite restaurant or watch a movie together, which can remind them of the positive in their life.

     4.   Reframe Valentine's Day as a celebration of love in all forms

Expanding the way your family celebrates Valentine's Day can make a huge difference. Instead of viewing it solely as a romantic holiday, encourage your child to see it as a day to celebrate all forms of love—friendships, family, pets and even favorite activities. If they love a particular book series, movie or game, encourage them to spend the day enjoying those things. Helping them channel their energy into something they love can make the holiday feel more positive and meaningful.

     5.   Remind them it's just one day

Keep in mind that while Valentine's Day can feel overwhelming, it's ultimately just one day. Without dismissing their emotions, help your child keep perspective—this one day doesn't define their friendships, relationships or self-worth. By providing support, encouragement, and alternative ways to celebrate, you can help them build resilience and foster the relationships they desire in the future.

Jennifer Cougill-Harris, M.Ed., is a director for in-home services at Youth Villages, a leading national nonprofit focused on children's mental and behavioral health. She holds a Bachelor of Psychology from Lambuth University and a Master of Professional Counseling from Middle Tennessee State University.

Working through direct services, partnerships with innovative public agencies and advocacy, Youth Villages collaborates to bring positive change to child welfare, children's mental health and justice systems. The organization's 4,500 employees serve more than 43,000 children and young adults in more than 100 locations in 27 states and the District of Columbia. Youth Villages has been recognized by the Harvard Business School and U.S. News & World Report and was identified by The White House as one of the nation's most promising results-oriented nonprofit organizations. For more information, go to youthvillages.org.

SOURCE Youth Villages, Inc.