ARAG Offers Four Tips to Help a Friend Co-Parent with The Ex

Apr 30, 2013, 11:00 ET from ARAG

DES MOINES, Iowa, April 30, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- Hands-down, some of the most frequently asked questions a person supporting a divorcee hears occur when the ex-spouse is a less than effective parent. Your role as an unbiased listener can provide support and help parents refocus attention back to the best interests of the child.



Lacey Noel, an attorney and contributor to provides four steps you can recommend your friend walk through when facing the difficulties of co-parenting with a former spouse. 

  1. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Remind your friend that as a couple, they probably didn't agree on issues for their children when they were married, so issues with parenting post-break-up need to be faced with a deep breath.
  2. Create and Adhere to a Cohesive Parenting Plan. Adhering to a plan is essential otherwise the child may fall through the cracks. This is especially true when the child has behavioral problems. Parents need to be united in teaching that child firm, clear rules.
  3. Check Sources. Parents need to question where information on the parenting skills of the ex-spouse is coming from. Sometimes parents have found that their children have been playing them against each other so communication with the ex-spouse is very important.
  4. Involve a Mediator. Most parenting plans state that the parties have to go through some type of dispute resolution like mediation or counseling instead of just filing in Court. If dispute resolution doesn't work, or if the situation affects the health and well-being of the child, then he or she needs to file a Modification and have it heard in Court.  

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About Support in a Split
When a friend or family member is going through a divorce, most people find it tough to know what to say or how to help. Support in a Split targets the extended support groups of people going through divorce and offers practical ways for them to help during a difficult time. With insight from attorneys, divorce counselors and divorce survivors, blog topics range from exercise, dating and updating legal documents. Support in a Split is sponsored by ARAG®, a global provider of legal solutions.

Jen Harken