Athalia Monae's New Book, Why the Secrets, Explores How Secrets Can Damage Family Relationships and How to Heal the Hurt
CHICAGO, May 18, 2020 /PRNewswire/ -- Toxic situations can impact families for generations. In her book Why the Secrets, author Athalia Monae shows how they can be resolved. 5 things you need to do to heal damaged family relationships.
- Be honest and open about what caused the disconnection/division, from your point of view.
For years, Linda kept the secret of her ex-husband, Charles, raping her and the events that happened that day prior to the act, which is what led to her divorcing him. Once she revealed this to her daughter Queen and the rest of her family, there was an immediate outpouring of understanding, forgiveness, strengthened relationships and even new family relationships.
- Take accountability for any part you may have played in the situation.
Queen told her mother, Linda, that at the time of the rape, her father was intoxicated, angry and distraught at feeling like Linda didn't want anymore children with him, even after they had discussed multiple times, adding to their family. Linda felt that if Charles had known she was pregnant the day of the rape, then all of everything that happened that day could have been avoided. When Charles found out that things weren't what they seemed, that not only did Linda want more children with him like they discussed, but she was actually pregnant at the time of him raping her and as a result of the incident, she lost their baby, he was stunned and embarrassed by his actions.
- Listen and acknowledge the other person concerns/feelings.
Linda's brother, James Jr., was angry and hurt by Linda's actions of not only having relocating to another state with his niece, Queen but she divorced her husband and remarried. Linda heard James angry words and the hurt behind them, which forced her to tell her family the reasoning behind all of her actions.
- Be willing to make necessary changes to avoid a repeat of what caused a rift in the relationship.
Queen grew up wondering why her parents were no longer together, why her father was no longer apart of her life. No matter how many times she asked her mom, Linda never told her why. After Linda found out how Queen had traveled to Michigan looking for her father, and none of the family knew she had gone there and just thinking back on how many times over the years, Queen had asked about her father whereabouts, Linda realized just how much pain and confusion she had caused her daughter. She vowed never to keep anymore secrets from Queen.
- Allow forgiveness to take place, whether it's forgiveness for the other person or yourself.
After Linda reflected on how she handled the situation, she felt she could have handled it better, which would have resulted in less pain for all involved, she then forgave herself, which made it a little bit easier for her to forgive Charles.
As Athalia Monae exhibited in Why the Secrets, a lack of communication and assumptions can ruin any relationship and cause a world of hurt, resentment and division.
As uncomfortable as having honest conversations can be, it's necessary in all relationships.
Contact: Athalia Monae
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 224-623-7935
SOURCE Athalia Monae
Share this article