Can't Take a Compliment? Dr. Tricia Groff Advises This May Damage Professional Credibility
PHOENIX, June 29, 2021 /PRNewswire/ -- If people can't take compliments, they instantly show their insecurity, says a clinical psychologist who works with top management.
The ability to take compliments reveals confidence; it is a behavior that increases credibility. When people don't take compliments, they appear insecure, according to Dr. Tricia Groff, author of the newly released Amazon best-seller, Relational Genius: The High Achiever's Guide to Soft-skill Confidence in Leadership and Life.
"When you pooh-pooh a compliment, you send the message that you don't take yourself seriously enough to accept praise, so the other person shouldn't either.', says Groff, who's worked with leaders in software and health tech to ensure they don't drive themselves and their employees crazy.
People lessen their credibility even further when they outright argue against compliments. When they dismiss others' good intentions, they are emotionally exhausting, inadvertently insulting, and sometimes hurtful.
- Emotionally exhausting: Arguing against the compliment requires the giver to respond to the argument.
- Insulting: Dismissing people's compliments can make them feel devalued.
- Hurtful: Sometimes people feel vulnerable when they give heartfelt compliments. They may feel criticized or dumb when their compliments are pushed away.
When people dismiss compliments, they alienate those who genuinely care and reduce their own professional credibility.
What is the strategic fallout of not taking compliments?
When people do not acknowledge compliments in professional situations, they show insecurity. At best, this creates doubt about their confidence and leadership abilities. At its worst, it makes them a target for toxic people who will pick up on the insecurity and use it against them.
Groff recalls a senior executive who struggled to get the respect of her team. One of the major ways she showed her insecurity was denigrating herself when she was complimented.
Similarly, Dr. Groff recalls a conversation with a VP who was interviewing candidates. He said, "I really like her, but she dismissed the compliments I gave on her resume. I'm worried that she won't have the confidence to drive new initiatives." Ultimately, the person with experience and a good track record lost the job to a less experienced person who presented with more confidence.
How Should a Person Respond to Compliments?
Keep it simple. People should just say "thank you," even if they feel uncomfortable. One could say, "I appreciate that" or "that means a lot. Thank you."
Thanking someone for a compliment acknowledges the gift they are trying to give. Accepting a compliment also shows self-esteem, which, in turn, gains more respect from others and increases credibility.
Adapted from Relational Genius: The High Achiever's Guide to Soft-skill Confidence in Leadership and Life.
"This book is a gold mine of practical, real-world, tested and true insights." – Benita Howe, Former VP at Ignite Technologies, Founder of IlluminatePro.
For more information or interviews, visit https://relationalgenius.com or call Dr. Tricia Groff at (480) 382-0383.
Contact:
Dr. Tricia Groff
(480) 382-0383
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SOURCE Dr. Tricia Groff
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