Gen Z and Millennials Prioritize Emotional Intelligence Over Looks, According to New Seeking® Survey

From early dealbreakers to prioritizing emotional maturity, young singles are ditching the games and saying exactly what they want.

LAS VEGAS, July 16, 2025 /PRNewswire/ -- In a digital dating world saturated with filters, half-truths and curated profiles, a new survey commissioned by luxury dating site Seeking® reveals young singles are done pretending. According to the national poll of 2,000 U.S. Gen Z and Millennial daters, radical honesty is the new non-negotiable.

Emotional maturity and kindness now tie as the top dating priorities, outranking both sense of humor and physical appearance. The trait that used to be number one, sense of humor, has been bumped down the list as daters increasingly prioritize long-term compatibility over short-term chemistry.

Gen Z women are leading this shift, with nearly 1 in 3 saying they'd bring up their dealbreakers on the very first date. Another 22% say they'd lay it all out before the date even happens. Their transparency is contagious: nearly half of all respondents, regardless of gender, say they plan to discuss dealbreakers by date one.

People say it's chemistry, but half the time it's just two people lying to impress each other. Real chemistry, that starts with honesty, said Dana Rosewall and Brandon Wade, Co-CEOs of Seeking®. "This survey confirms what we've always believed at Seeking®: "Clarity is more attractive than charm. Lies lead to trust issues while honesty gives you control." 

The data shows:

• Emotional connection is the real spark: 42% of singles say it's the kind of attraction that truly lasts in a relationship, far outranking physical chemistry or shared lifestyle.
• Honesty > Games: More than 80% believe people often lie about their dating intentions, but Gen Z is flipping the script, with 66% admitting they research their date online before even meeting.
• Dealbreakers are non-negotiable: More than 1 in 3 singles (36%) say poor communication would end a relationship. Women are especially clear on this, with 50% calling it a dealbreaker, compared to just 29% of men.
• Priorities are shifting: Only 18% of singles say physical attraction is the most important trait in a long-term partner. Instead, 35% rank shared life goals, like marriage and children, as number one.
• Selective, not shallow: While nearly 1 in 4 say they've refused to date someone who earned less than them, 68% say income doesn't ultimately affect their decision. For most, ambition, generosity, and shared values matter more than bank balance.

The era of games, ghosting and "chill vibes only" is fading fast. A new dating generation is making space for what they really want, and they're not shy about saying it.

On July 24, Seeking® takes the honesty conversation to Snapchat with its new interactive filter, the Truth Booth. This bold new filter dares daters to get real by testing just how transparent they are about love, lifestyle, and what they're truly looking for.

About Seeking®

Founded in 2006, Seeking® is the world's leading luxury dating platform, connecting millions of members who value ambition, lifestyle alignment, and direct communication in their relationships. With more than 56 million users in 130+ countries, Seeking® is built for singles who refuse to settle and empowers them to match with someone who meets their standards.

You Know What You Want. Find It on Seeking™.

Media Contact:
Alysha Swisher
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SOURCE Seeking.com