How to Overcome the Impact of Growing Up with Domestic Violence
Brian F. Martin, Author of INVINCIBLE, shares tips and techniques for those who experienced domestic violence as children to overcome their circumstances
NEW YORK, Oct. 29, 2014 /PRNewswire/ -- In a recent interview with Marlo Thomas, Brian F. Martin, Founder of Children of Domestic Violence (CDV) and author of INVINCIBLE, shared his insight on the effects that domestic violence has on the children who experience it. Martin also described the tools and techniques those affected can use to overcome their circumstances and lead successful lives.
Childhood domestic violence is the experiencing of violence between parents or a parent and their significant other. The violence can be physical or non-physical. Children who are raised in these homes often grow up believing 10 lies about themselves as a result— they believe they are guilty, resentful, sad, lonely, hopeless, worthless, fearful, self-conscious and that they are unloved.
In the interview with Marlo, Martin recalled having a difficult time overcoming these lies, having grown up in violent home himself. He noted that children of domestic violence feel especially angry and have a hard time finding ways to control this emotion. To help others deal with the same anger he experienced, Martin developed a technique he calls DATA.
"Getting over the feeling of being angry takes six seconds, and using the DATA technique gives you at least six seconds to think about where you want to be at the end of it all," Martin said.
To combat anger, Martin's DATA technique suggests:
- Decide: Figure out what it is that you're feeling
- Ask: Ask yourself if you could be wrong about the way you're feeling toward a given situation and if it's possible that you could be wrong
- Truth: Remind yourself of the truth about how things turn out when you act in anger
- Act: Decide how to act on your anger.
When asked whether non-physical abuse is as bad as physical abuse, Martin noted that the psychological effects are the same for both. However, since many people don't realize that words can have just as great of a psychological impact as hitting, they are less inclined to speak about it.
"Many people I've talked to have told me that, while the pain of witnessing the physical violence goes away, it's the verbal part—the words used—that have a longer-lasting effect," said Martin. "This is because the words become a part of them, leading them to feel more badly than good every day; to stop when they should be moving forward."
Martin founded CDV in 2007 to raise awareness about this epidemic— which affects 15 million American children and 40 million American adults— in an effort to end domestic violence and its impact. CDV is the first non-profit organization dedicated to helping and connecting those who have experienced childhood domestic violence so that they can reach their full potential and break the cycle of violence.
To watch Brian Martin's full interview on Mondays with Marlo, visit http://huff.to/1EvPSDr.
ABOUT CHILDREN OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (CDV):
CDV – Children of Domestic Violence – was founded in 2007 by Brian F. Martin and is the first non-profit dedicated to helping those who grew up living with domestic violence to reach their full potential. For more information about CDV, visit www.cdv.org or follow the foundation on Twitter at @CDVorg.
ABOUT BRIAN F. MARTIN:
Brian F. Martin is an entrepreneur, Founder of the non-profit CDV – Children of Domestic Violence – and author of INVINCIBLE: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence and the Truths to Set You Free.
MEDIA CONTACT:
Kathleen Fletcher
Krupp Kommunications
Email
212-886-6705
SOURCE Children of Domestic Violence
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