Military Marriages Can Be Strengthened With Advice from New Book, "Faith Steps for Military Families"

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Dec 20, 2013, 07:58 ET

MARYSVILLE, Wash., Dec. 20, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- Marriage is hard, but a military marriage is unique with its complex lifestyle.

"Faith Steps for Military Families" by Lisa Nixon Phillips explores building spiritual resilience in military families. To pre-order a copy, visit www.LisaNixonPhillips.com or email [email protected]

"Without a sense of unity, a military marriage can leave a couple feeling as though they are drifting at sea, pitched to and fro without a sense of purpose or direction," said Phillips who is a retired Navy wife who recently celebrated her 26^th wedding anniversary.

The military community agrees that faith makes a difference whether serving in harm's way or serving as the often overlooked hero sustaining the home front. If there's one thing gleaned from the recent wars is that spiritual readiness for military members and their families is a vital component of resiliency in the face of the immense challenges of a complex lifestyle. However, spiritual well-being in the home often fails to make it to the checkoff list, she said.

"Undoubtedly, marriage is hard in the military and many military marriages lack spiritual footing and often do not last," she said. "My faith and reliance on a Sovereign God, Scripture, and prayer became the strong anchor that helped to keep my life focused and fulfilling during my 18 years as a military wife. Like every military family, we had hard times, even desperate times, but God proved Himself bigger and mightier than our toughest struggles. And He carried us through each one. From that spiritual perspective, I am passionate about the unique challenges of military families."

"I am a believer that faith and prayer make a difference in the overall well-being and resiliency of military families," she said.

One way to measure the durability of a military marriage is by determining whether these four factors are present:

A Spirit of Unity Loves and Accepts–Love, when lived out in its marital commitment and not motivated by emotion, can create a harmonious atmosphere in a military home. It cannot be contained; it freely flows unrestricted.
A Spirit of Unity Contributes and Trusts–A military marriage that shares keeps the focus of their union on their joint purpose in life. When each honors the other in the relationship, they feel safe to share weaknesses, fears, strengths, struggles, failures, and victories. Genuine unity communicates trust–confidence that failure doesn't automatically mean a collapse in the relationship, or rejection altogether.
A Spirit of Unity is Unselfish–Selfishness treats the marriage as disposable. It conveys the message that if one person doesn't measure up to expectations, he or she will find someone else who will. A spirit of unselfishness is quintessential in the demands of a military marriage where months of separation can be a source of friction.
A Spirit of Unity Embraces Concerns and Needs–By mutually attending to the emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of each other, especially before and during deployments, this not only strengthens the bonds while separated, but it reveals the value they attach to their spouse and to their union.

About the Book

"Faith Steps for Military Families - Spiritual Readiness from the Psalms of Ascent" explores the fifteen themes found in Psalms 120-134. "Faith Steps for Military Families" translates these relevant themes into the lives of twenty-first century military families who encounter many of the same themes as the ancient Israelites did.

Through vivid pictorial metaphors, the themes reveal:

A deeper understanding of God's nature as Protector, Keeper, and the Night Watchman.
How God defends His people.
Hope for when life as a military family is on hold.
Trust in God during times of fear, or of the unknown.
Understanding how God's strength and love protects His own.
Coping in contemptuous or hostile environments.
Honoring God while living out the difficult military lifestyle.
How unity builds resiliency in the military family.
The danger of a complacent faith.
Learning contentment when overwhelmed with matters too great.
Seeking God for a downtrodden spirit.
Discovering the link between obedience and blessings, and others.

About Lisa Phillips

Lisa Phillips is a retired Navy wife and mother, originally from Lawrence, Kansas, far from the world of war ships and deployments. At the time they met, her husband, Ray, was stationed on the U.S.S. Kansas City, home ported in Alameda, California. After a brief engagement, they married. In 2013, they celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary.

Just before her husband's Navy retirement in 2003, they purchased an automotive transmission rebuild facility in Marysville, WA. Located in the heart of the military community, they help military families with their vehicles.