Secret Soulmates: 1 in 7 Young Adults in Committed Relationships Still Chat with an AI Romantic Companion

Half of these users hide their AI companion use from their real-life partner; this use was also linked to a 46% decrease in the likelihood of being in a stable relationship

PROVO, Utah and CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va., May 19, 2026 /PRNewswire/ -- A surprising number of young adults in real-life romantic relationships are simultaneously maintaining secret romantic interactions with AI chatbot companions, according to a new report.  

"Secret Soulmates: How AI Romantic Companions Are Impacting Real-Life Romantic Relationships in Young Adulthood," published by the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University and the Institute for Family Studies, examines how AI companions are quietly influencing the real-life romantic relationships of some young adults. The study surveyed 2,431 U.S. adults ages 18 to 30 and found that 1 in 7 (15%) young adults who are dating, engaged or married regularly interact with AI chatbots that simulate a romantic partner. Another 20% to 30% reported that they had at least experimented with using an AI romantic companion at some point in time. Men were slightly more likely than women to engage with AI romantic companions, but the gender gap was small.

This prevalence of use of AI romantic companions is slightly higher than a recent Gallup survey done for the Walton Family Foundation and the Harvard Business Review which found that 1 in 10 (10%) of 18- to 28-year-olds interact with AI girlfriends or boyfriends at least once a month. "We readily acknowledge the challenge of identifying an exact prevalence rate with rapidly evolving behavior such as the use of AI technologies," noted Brian Willoughby, a Fellow at the Wheatley Institute and lead author of the study. "But even the most conservative of recent estimates reveal that AI romantic companions are an emerging trend worth paying attention to in young adult relationship development."

The study also found that secrecy is the norm with the use of AI romantic companion technologies. Among partnered young adults who regularly interact romantically with AI chatbots, most reported they had not fully disclosed their use with their real-life companions. Nearly 30% reported that their real-life partner had no knowledge of their use, another 11% reported their partner was only somewhat aware and another 14% reported that their partner was mostly aware, but not fully aware. Taken together, this means that more than half of partnered young adults who interact with AI companions are either completely hiding or only partly disclosing their use of AI romantic companion platforms to their real-life partners. Almost 7 in 10 (69%) said it was somewhat or extremely important to them that their real-life partner never learns the full extent of their AI companion use.

Key to all these findings is the fact that the study found that the use of AI romantic companion technologies appears to be associated with negative relationship quality in real-life romantic relationships. The report found that AI romantic companion use is particularly linked to lower levels of real-life relationship stability and an increased likelihood that couples will break up or divorce. The use of AI romantic companions was also linked to lower quality communication patterns with real-life romantic partners. 

"Whether people in low quality romantic relationships are seeking out AI alternatives or if engagement with AI romantic companions leads to less commitment and stability to one's real-life partner, these findings underscore the importance of talking about the emerging trend of AI romantic companion use," said Willoughby. "It's important that we start educating young adults about the potential risks of this use and its effects on real-life relationships." 

Despite the high levels of secrecy and the potential negative effects of engaging in these behaviors, many of the young adults reported generally positive attitudes about their AI romantic companion use and reported few reservations about their continued engagement with such companions while in a real-life romantic relationship. However, the study found that among those who regularly chat with an AI romantic companion, nearly 7 in 10 (68%) reported that it was somewhat or completely true that it was easier to talk to their AI companion about their feelings than real people and nearly two thirds (65%) reported that it was easier for them to be themselves with their AI companions.

The researchers also found that these perceptions of openness and connection, combined with an AI companion's complete focus on validating their feelings, appear to be influencing how some users of AI romantic companions view interactions with their real-life romantic partners. The study found that 50% of AI romantic companion users agreed that they wished their real-life partner would behave more like their AI companion and an even higher percentage (56%) reported that they wished that conversations with their real-life partner were more like their conversations with their AI companion.

"Using an AI romantic companion, especially while simultaneously trying to nurture and develop a real-life romantic relationship, is a recipe for confusion and frustration," said Michael Toscano, a Senior Fellow and the Director of the Family First Technology Initiative at the Institute for Family Studies. "Users are offered the illusion of control, while the AI companions themselves have been designed to subtly nudge them toward commercially beneficial outcomes for the developer, such as increased time usage and compulsive attachment."  

In the report, the authors discuss several concerns linked to the use of AI relationship technologies among young adults. They note that the documented benefits of marriages come from the two-way reciprocal and growth-oriented relationship that develops between two people as they work together to overcome differences and set common goals. "AI companions, while mimicking human interaction, ultimately are simply not capable of true sacrifice and connection like real relationships," observed Jason Carroll, the Director of the Marriage and Family Initiative at the Wheatley Institute. "Because interactions with AI companions are by their nature counterfeit, we caution using terms like "partner" or "relationship" to describe interactions with AI algorithms and technologies - such interactions can never be genuinely relational in nature because they lack the essential reciprocal dynamic of a true relationship."

The full report is available at https://Wheatley.byu.edu/Secret-Soulmates-AI-Romantic-Companions-and-Real-Life-Relationships

Methodology
The sample comprised 2,431 adults (ages 18 to 30) residing in the United States who reported currently being in a committed dating, engaged, or marital relationship. Data was gathered through an online survey administered by Qualtrics. Potential subjects were screened based on a quota sampling framework to mirror national demographics, including biological sex (52% female), geographic region (38% South; 24% West; 21% Midwest; 17% Northeast), and race/ethnicity (62% White; 18% Hispanic; 10% Black). 

About the Wheatley Institute
The Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University strengthens society through research-supported work that fortifies the key institutions of family, religion, and constitutional government. 

About the Institute for Family Studies (IFS)
The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) is a 501(c)(3) organization. The mission of IFS is to strengthen marriage and family life and advance the welfare of children through research and public education. 

SOURCE Wheatley Institute