Therapists Shatter Myths On Why Couples Fight, Split & Seek Counseling

Plus: a surprising benefit of therapy

Mar 07, 2012, 06:00 ET from

NEW YORK, March 7, 2012 /PRNewswire/ -- A recent survey of counseling professionals from—the leader in love and relationships—has shattered some long-held relationship myths: the top two reasons couples fight are not sex and money. The #1 reason is one or both parties don't feel important or valued by the other. Communication problems ranked second, followed by money and, surprisingly, sex came in a distant fourth.

YourTango Experts, an esteemed organization of 1,100 psychotherapists, counselors, coaches and other helping professionals, completed a survey about the habits and behaviors that couples address in and outside of therapy.

For both hetero and homosexuals, "communication issues" topped the list as the reason couples split followed by "loss of intimacy." While infidelity was not the top reason couples breakup, it was cited by Experts as the most toxic to get over.  Surprisingly, two-thirds of Experts agreed that the presence of kids in a relationship does not influence the likelihood of cheating.

72% of therapists listed "communication problems" as the #1 reason couples seek therapy, followed by a lack of emotional intimacy.

Most Experts agreed the #1 cause for failure in therapy is the lack of effort from one or both partners.

Additional findings:

  • Therapy is surprisingly good for couples' sex lives: a whopping 80% of Experts said it leads their clients to "more sex." 
  • In straight couples, women initiate therapy 90% of the time. 
  • 57% of Experts said watching and consuming sports stats has a negative effect on relationships.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger is the politician "most in need of therapy," closely followed by Newt Gingrich. Interestingly, Bill Clinton received 0% of the vote.

"These results are not just fascinating but also very encouraging," states Andrea Miller, CEO, YourTango. "With most clients seeing improvement from therapy in 4-10 sessions, there's a good chance couples can quickly benefit by simply seeking professional help!"

YourTango Experts advise on dating, marriage and intimacy, parenting, self-esteem, mental health and more. Read about additional relationship myths, including which celebrities most need therapy.

About YourTango is the digital leader in love and relationships. With a mission to help users live their best love lives, YourTango offers award-winning content, community, tools, and connections to relationships experts to over 3mm unique visitors per month. 

*Research Methodology.