Therapists Shed Surprising New Light On Infidelity

Plus: the influence of porn, Facebook and on cheating

Jun 18, 2012, 06:00 ET from

NEW YORK, June 18, 2012 /PRNewswire/ -- A survey of counseling professionals from—the digital leader in love and relationships—sheds dramatic, new light on infidelity. Surprisingly, it's not about the sex. Instead, emotional dissatisfaction is the number-one reason both men and women cheat, according to these experts, while sexual dissatisfaction comes in second. Only 8% of respondents say men are "hard-wired" to "spread their seed."

Members of YourTango Experts, an organization of 1,200 psychotherapists, counselors, coaches and other helping professionals, completed a survey that reveals numerous insights on infidelity, including culprits, preventative measures, and counterintuitive advice for adulterers.

While nearly 50% agree that technology is a catalyst for cheating, only 7% indicate that Facebook has increased the number of affairs significantly. 90% say that dating sites like just provide the opportunity; if someone wants to cheat, he/she will find a way regardless of the sites or services available.

The top two measures to prevent cheating are: (1) for both partners to feel valued and important to each other and (2) to have good communication. Satisfying sex clocked in third.

"This data is consistent with YourTango's previous research that underscores the real problem for most couples is less about sex and more about feeling valued and communicating successfully," states Andrea Miller, CEO and Founder of YourTango. "While 50% of affairs play out sexually, emotional affairs constitute the betrayal a whopping 40% of the time. It's the lack of closeness that overwhelmingly leads to cheating and discord."

Thankfully, there's hope for the unfaithful. 81% disagree with the adage "once a cheater, always a cheater."

Additional findings:

  • 59% of experts agree that pornography influences infidelity.
  • 47% say that celebrities do not cheat any more frequently than the rest of us. However, 76% claim that celebrity cheating scandals affect how the rest of us view infidelity.
  • 57% say that if someone in a relationship has been unfaithful, it is not always best for him/her to tell his/her partner.

Complete survey details and additional insights are featured in "The Truth About Infidelity" initiative on

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