The comedian reexamines holiday folklore, revealing a new milk-built Santa physique hypothesis
NEW YORK, Dec. 15, 2025 /PRNewswire/ -- Santa Claus isn't just jolly. According to comedian and actress Mary Beth Barone, he's also jacked — and it's time the holiday lore reflects that.
Barone's reasoning is simple: Santa drinks a lot of dairy milk — each glass including 8 grams of complete, high-quality protein — in addition to working one of the most physically demanding overnight shifts in human history and carrying more weight in a single evening than most people lift all year. Powered by protein, Barone says, Santa's belly likely isn't round — it's probably chiseled with the help of all that milk.
"He's jolly, yes," Barone said. "But he's also running the largest overnight operation on Earth. Flying internationally, climbing down chimneys, lifting thousands of gifts, downing milk — and we're supposed to believe he's soft and plump? No. I'm convinced this is a very ripped man in extremely festive clothing. I intend to set the record straight."
Barone teamed up with Milk to introduce the first-ever Swole Santa Contest, bringing a swarm of Santas to Brooklyn, New York on Saturday, December 13 in the search of uncovering Santa's true form.
Contestants arrived in full Santa costume to be put through a series of challenges designed to test strength, stamina, and holiday grit — all in the name of crowning one macro-fueled milk drinker the ultimate Swole Santa. From timed planks to a milk-chug challenge to an all-out sack race that turned Santa's signature accessory into a full high-performance sport, these challenges were not for the faint of heart.
Barone presided over the competition like the myth-busting queen that she is and ultimately decided there would be two Swole Santa winners — crowning N8 Royster of Brooklyn, NY and Phil Montana of Sound Beach, NY — the 2025 Swole Santa Champions.
The Swole Santa champions received a custom sash and a ceremonial "gallon of milk" check along with the prestigious premiere title.
The contest was presented in collaboration with Milk as a live-action extension of Barone's ongoing commentary on Santa — a reminder that milk doesn't just accompany cookies; it helps build the physique of legends.
For the latest milk trends and simple ideas on how to incorporate milk into your diet like Santa, follow @gonnaneedmilk on TikTok and Instagram. To learn more about the benefits of dairy milk, visit GonnaNeedMilk.com.
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About the Milk Processor Education Program
The Milk Processor Education Program (MilkPEP), based in Washington, D.C., is funded by the nation's milk companies and is dedicated to educating consumers and increasing the consumption of fluid milk. For more information, visit MilkPEP.org.
SOURCE MilkPEP
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