NEW YORK, April 1, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- The following is being issued by JetBlue Airways and is an acknowledged spoof press release. The following news release is not factual, and should not be reported upon as such.
JetBlue Airways (Nasdaq: JBLU) today announces three tantalizing new destinations, expanding the fun-loving airline's borders to three new countries and giving travelers more options for flying to some of the farthest-reaching dots on the globe, including:
- April River Airport (APR) in Papua New Guinea;
- Ilford Airport (ILF) in Manitoba, Canada; and
- Gold Coast Airport (OOL) in Coolangatta, Australia
Customers looking to climb an active volcano in Rabaul Caldera, experience a new sub-zero Canadian vacation spot or visit their Coolangattan relatives can now hop a flight with their favorite, customer service-friendly carrier. Once-daily flights to all three new destinations will be offered at the airline's existing stations in Portland, Maine and Aquadilla, Puerto Rico. Twice-weekly flights will also be offered between Papua, New Guinea and Coolangatta, Australia with connecting service in Ilford, Canada (a). A video with more information about how JetBlue chose these three new destinations can be found at blog.jetblue.com.
"They asked and we listened," said Shirley Eugest, director of miscellaneous for JetBlue Airways. "We're all about meeting demand and our loyal customers told us they wanted to fly to these locales. We're looking forward to serving these three new routes and introducing our signature product to the people of Papua, Ilford, and Coolangatta."
Customers traveling to Papua New Guinea via the value airline's new service just below the equator to April River Airport will enjoy unlimited Terra Blue Chips for the entire duration of the 29-hour flight (b). First bag flies free with JetBlue, but travelers wishing to integrate into local, native culture to fully experience one of the world's most unexplored countries won't need to pack much beyond a bikini and suntan lotion (c).
Gold Coast Airport in Coolangatta, Australia will be JetBlue's longest route and the farthest the Embraer E190 aircraft has ever flown at 16,864 km (10,478 miles), breaking the innovative airline's earlier record set in November 2008 when the charter clocked in 2,694 nautical miles en route from Anchorage, Alaska to JetBlue's home base in New York (d).
Ilford Airport, nestled between Moose Nose Lake and endless tundra in Manitoba, Canada, boasts spring temperatures in the minus-ten-degree range Fahrenheit. Just a short 300-600 km (186-372 miles) drive from Ilford Airport, travelers can cozy up at the Whitecap Lodge or the Tundra Inn. Customers flying to Ilford can take advantage of JetBlue's Even More Space seats, which offer early access to the overhead bin for stowing those parkas (and long johns and hats and gloves and scarves and ear muffs and fleeces and boots and extra socks and hand warmers and snow shoes and cross country skis).
Flights will be operated with JetBlue's E190 aircraft, which comfortably seats 100 and boasts window or aisle seats for everyone (no middle seats). Customers can stay limber on some of the world's longest flights with JetBlue's soft, leather seats and the most legroom in coach of any domestic airline based on average fleet-wide seat pitch for U.S. airlines. Thirty-six channels of DIRECTV will keep customers entertained for the day-and-a-half-long flight and unlimited Dunkin' Donuts coffee will keep customers awake for the entire duration to maximize available television-watching time (e).
About JetBlue Airways JetBlue is the airline with a sense of humor. Known for its award-winning service and free TV as much as its low fares, JetBlue offers the most legroom in coach of any U.S. airline as well as super-spacious Even More Space seats. JetBlue is also America's first and only airline to offer its own Customer Bill of Rights, with meaningful and specific compensation for customers inconvenienced by service disruptions within JetBlue's control. Visit www.jetblue.com/promise for details. JetBlue serves 76 cities with 800 daily flights with new service to Albuquerque, Philadelphia, and Medellin, Colombia this year. With JetBlue, all seats are assigned, all fares are one-way, and an overnight stay is never required. For information or reservations call 1-800-JET-BLUE (1-800-538-2583), TTY/TDD 1-800-336-5530, or visit www.jetblue.com.
(a) Please leave extra time for connecting service via Ilford, Canada and pack a clean pair of underwear and deodorant in carryon luggage for the consideration of fellow airline passengers. Estimated travel time is 72 hours. (b) Flights to April River Airport (APR) stop six times to refuel (Westbound flights stop in Jakarta, Bangkok, Karachi, Astana, Warsaw and Reykjavik). (c) Suntan lotion must comply with TSA 3-1-1 regulationsfor liquids. (d) Flights operated using solar power and faith (e) April Fools!
SOURCE JetBlue Airways