Talking to Kids About Cancer: Tips for Parents

CLEVELAND, July 8 /PRNewswire/ -- In light of a study issued last week finding more than one million parents with minor children are cancer survivors,* a well-respected cancer support center is sharing tips for cancer-related conversations with young children.

(Photo: http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20100708/CL32292 )

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Through its work with families facing cancer, The Gathering Place understands sharing a diagnosis with a child is one of the most difficult challenges parents with cancer will face.

"Cancer is a tough topic to discuss with children, but one that should be addressed in an open, ongoing dialogue," says Kathleen McCue, children's program director at The Gathering Place and author of Someone I Love is Sick: Helping Very Young Children Cope with Cancer in the Family. "A parent's illness can cause emotional distress and developmental problems for children, but when managed well, the family crisis can produce resiliency and strength."

Responding to the study by a Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center researcher, McCue and The Gathering Place recommend parents prepare responses to commonly asked questions and seek help when needed.

Resources like Someone I Love is Sick, a customizable book on cancer for young children, can help the family focus on the feelings and realities of cancer in a non-threatening manner. The book is unbound, so parents can add, remove or rearrange pages based on the family's specific situation.

Tips for Structuring Conversations with Kids (Age should be considered)

• Use the word "cancer" – Trying to hide the word sets children up to hear it elsewhere, where you can't immediately address their fears.

• Ask what they think cancer is – Their answer will help determine what they already know, along with any misconceptions.

• Explain what to expect – For example, it is important they know you might be going to the hospital more often or that you may need an operation to get better.

• Reinforce that you still love them – This is often a child's greatest fear because they think the illness will make their parent love them less.

• Don't make promises you can't keep – Tell the truth. Use caution when making promises. Let children know when you don't know something.

Tough Questions to Prepare For

Kids aren't afraid to ask tough questions, and you shouldn't be afraid to answer them. Prepare answers in advance.

• How do you get cancer? – It's OK to say that you don't know why you got sick. Remind them you didn't want to get sick. Cancer sometimes happens in the body.

• Can I get cancer? – When children hear the word 'sick,' they often think they can catch it. Explain that cancer is different than the flu or a cold, and reaffirm it isn't contagious.

• Did I cause your cancer? – When a parent is diagnosed, children often believe they somehow caused it. Tell them nothing they did lead to your diagnosis.

• Are you going to die? – This is often the hardest question for parents since death is a possibility. You might say 'Sometimes people do die from cancer, but I want to get better. I am taking strong medicine and have good doctors to help me.'

For additional tips and to learn more about Someone I Love is Sick, a tool that's been endorsed by Lance Armstrong and other advocates, visit www.SomeoneILoveIsSick.com.

The Gathering Place is a non-profit, community-based cancer support center that focuses on the social, emotional, physical and spiritual needs of individuals with cancer and their family and friends. Visit The Gathering Place at www.touchedbycancer.org.  

*Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center; June 28, 2010;

http://tinyurl.com/2dsjxhd

SOURCE The Gathering Place